♡

i'm not sweet
or lovely
not even cute

you just say those things because you haven't seen
t h e s e  t h o u g h t s

and i hope you never do

when the walls fall down,
there's too much to lose.

too much to hate.

and just like glass,
i will break you.

and you'll forget all the nice things
the smiles
and the warm breeze over our heads

just a mask
this fucking mask

i think this misery is way better than the one you gave me.

not anymore.

friends are supposed to make you feel okay

i could romanticize my pain.
but my heart refuses to hear sad songs,
to write poems about you, to keep crying.

all your memories have become a lot of ashes

and i think it's okay.

you're just ashes
                                  and i feel reckless